My Firstborn

See this poor hungry baby? This is my first born. I was 22 and scared and so unprepared. I thought I was prepared! Nope, Not. Even. Close. I’m not sure you can ever be prepared for your first. It’s a pretty big deal. It’s cliche but you’re life completely changes. It’s hard for me to look back on these pictures. I have several that my mother-in-law took of him giving feeding cues and to just be with his mamma. I was scared to breastfeed and I really wanted my mom there. (She was on a plane to come help) I didn’t know about the golden hour or skin to skin or how to prevent tearing and episiotomies. I didn’t know how to be assertive or value my own needs and my child’s over others wants and wishes. I did a lot of growing up in the coming moments, learning and stumbling through motherhood. The mom guilt can be strong and as my first baby, we’re always on a pretty steep learning curve. Of all I’ve learned, compassion for myself about what I didn’t know, the mistakes I’ve made, and the process is probably the most important.

My first newborn baby giving feeding cues